Bitch Fest: The Column That Says What Therapists Cannot

This isn’t about venting.
It’s about refusing what no longer works.

Dear Bitch Fest,

My mother-in-law keeps “accidentally” calling me by my husband’s ex’s name. It’s been six years. At Easter dinner, she did it twice. My husband says I’m overreacting. Am I?

, Still Not Jennifer

Dear Still Not Jennifer,

Let’s be very clear.

This isn’t about a name.
It’s about whose comfort matters more in the room.

Right now, the expectation is that you absorb the disrespect so everyone else can stay comfortable. That’s not neutrality. That’s a choice.

And when your husband says you’re “overreacting,” what he’s really saying is:
It’s easier for me if you swallow this.

Six years means this isn’t accidental. It’s a pattern that’s been tolerated long enough to become normalized. And the only reason it continues is because there’s been no consequence.

Your rebellion doesn’t need theatrics. It needs a mirror.

The next time she does it, calmly say:
“That’s not my name.”
Don’t explain. Don’t soften it. Don’t laugh it off.
Then stop talking.

Let the silence sit where it belongs.

If your husband rushes to smooth it over, that’s the real conversation. Because a partner who minimizes your experience is still participating in it.

Rebellion doesn’t always flip tables.
Sometimes it just refuses to smile anymore.

Dear Bitch Fest,

I lie about having plans so I can stay home alone. Not because I’m depressed, I just genuinely prefer my couch to most people. Is this a problem?

, Antisocial or Just Done?

Dear Just Done,

You’ve reached a very adult realization:
Most social plans are emotional group projects where everyone’s annoying and nobody gets credit.

There’s nothing wrong with preferring your own space. What is wrong is the idea that enjoying solitude needs to be justified, explained, or diagnosed.

Many social obligations aren’t about connection. They’re about maintaining appearances. Loud rooms. Forced conversations. Shared bills for experiences you didn’t actually enjoy. You don’t leave nourished, you leave depleted.

Your couch has never:

• made you split a check unfairly

• talked at you instead of with you

• required a personality performance

It just holds you. Quietly. Reliably.

The only adjustment I’d suggest is this: stop lying.

Not because lying is immoral, but because it keeps you managing other people’s expectations instead of resetting them.

Try this instead:
“Do you want to come?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to.”

The discomfort passes faster than you think. People adjust. Invitations slow down. Your weekends open up.

That’s not antisocial.
That’s choosing where your energy goes.

Dear Bitch Fest,

My boss wants us to start every meeting with a “gratitude share.” I want to quit on the spot. How do I survive this?

, Grateful for Nothing

Dear Nothing,

A gratitude share at work is not about gratitude.
It’s about extracting emotional labor under the guise of culture.

You are there to exchange labor for money. Not optimism. Not vulnerability. Not access to your inner life.

Here are three rebellion options, depending on your risk tolerance:

1. Malicious Compliance
“I’m grateful to be employed in this economy.”
Polite. Accurate. Uncomfortable.

2. Radical Earnestness
Share something just heavy enough that the room tightens. Not inappropriate, just real. You will quietly be removed from the rotation.

3. The Filibuster
Take so long that the practice becomes inefficient. Meetings hate inefficiency more than honesty.

And remember:
They pay for your labor, not your soul.
Save your gratitude for people who earn it.
That list should be very short.

Dear Bitch Fest,

I finally told my family I’m not hosting Christmas anymore after years of being the default. Now I’m selfish and “ruining tradition.” Did I do the right thing?

, Done Being the Default

Dear Done,

If you have an Italian mother, let’s clarify something immediately:
You were never hosting Christmas.
You were assisting a woman who has been running that kitchen like a military operation since 1974.

What you actually did was retire from being the emotional support staff.

“Selfish” is what people call you when you stop giving them something they felt entitled to.

Traditions survive just fine without martyrs. What people miss isn’t the holiday, it’s the unpaid labor, the emotional smoothing, the quiet logistics you handled so everyone else could relax.

When you step back, someone else steps up. Or they don’t. Either way, it stops being your responsibility.

Rebellion isn’t burning traditions down.
It’s choosing not to carry them alone anymore.

Got something you’re done tolerating?
Send it to info@jeopublishing.com.
Anonymous. Protected. Honest.

This is Joseph Tito, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.